Gryffin is 4 years old. He has been practising his writing for a while now and is actually getting pretty good at it. In school they’ve been thinking about things that each child is thankful for. My big boy came out with this –
It’s something I’m clearly not doing well. I seriously think my kids are at times feral, crazy, messy, shouty, violent little beings.
Things I have found myself saying to the boys –
Put the dog down, she is not a scarf
Please get off your brothers head he can’t breathe
No you cannot pee in the garden, I don’t care if the dog does it
You do not tell strangers that they are a poo
Stop pointing at the bald man. It IS normal to be bald, there’s nothing wrong with him (in response to Bear’s cries of ‘Mummy that man has no hair! Mummy, MUMMY WHY DOES HE HAVE NO HAIR???’ – this was while we were sat two rows behind said bald man in the cinema and my dear Bear isn’t exactly quiet)
Pull your trousers up and stop pretending your brother is a toilet
Why are you trying to eat his hair?
Don’t pour your juice into your cereal
My dress is not a tissue, go to the toilet and blow your nose
Stickers go on paper not the dog
If you go outside naked the birds will eat your winkle
I could go on like this forever but people will start to think I’m a worse parent than I actually am, my kids are occasionally unruly hooligans but I’m good with that since they’re so entertaining. Never a dull moment with these two!
We’re currently on day two of a sicky bug.
Sick is not my favourite thing.
In fact when I hear/see someone being sick I get that watery warning in my mouth and go all dizzy.
Despite all the grossness of large quantities of sick from my boys I have been terribly amused, they’ve come out with some absolute corkers!
Yesterday – the first time poor Bear was sick was possibly the best. He’s ill very rarely and sick even less so it’s not a thing he is used to. He woke up, came downstairs and emptied his stomach all over my kitchen floor. He looked petrified and after calming him slightly he shouted out
‘I need a doctor! All the life has come out of me!’
Stifling my giggles I mopped up the vile liquid. It took him around half an hour to stop freaking out about the life that had escaped him…
The next best was Gryffin. Typical Gryffin moment, completely over-dramatic bless him. I’d left them both lying on separate sofa’s with a blanket over them to go and make some dinner for everyone. I’d been in the kitchen all of 5 minutes before I heard Gryffin shouting me in a the shrill ear piercing tone he saves for when he is sick.
‘Mummy, mummy make Bear stop! MUMMY!!’
I ran in as fast as my chubby legs could carry me, look around and everything was as I had left it. I asked Gryffin what Bear had done that was so terrible.
‘Make him stop, the noise has gone right through my ears’
Hmmm, me – ‘What noise’
Yes, of course, how could I be so daft? How could Bear be so rude as to make noise whilst breathing? How very dare he? Terribly amusing.
I have added this to the Wot So Funee linky over at Family Four Fun, go have a nosey!